Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
