so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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