What a fucking waste of an outfit
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
