I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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