so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
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It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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