Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Are these your boobs on my camera?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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