I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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