Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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