My nipple is on Facebook.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
