I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
