we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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