I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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