another moral hangover. fuck.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
