I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
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