I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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