Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
