i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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