Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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