i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
