Don't you send me to vm
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
