We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
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I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
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Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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