they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
