Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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