He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
