Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
