Too much gin, very little bucket
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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