its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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