How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
