The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize