she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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