i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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