Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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