You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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