Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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