I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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