I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize