shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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