he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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