yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
