oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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