I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
