somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
