I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
