I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
