try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
