sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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