so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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