I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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