I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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