I must be too annoying 4 u.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
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I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
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Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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