Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize