If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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