yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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