I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize