glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
