He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
