I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
