you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
